The process of conflict resolution is a self-management skill building activity that helps children to learn how to solve their conflicts in a peaceful manner. It enables each child to state his/her point of view without blame. The process consists of four elements:

• Defining the problem - The conflict is a shared one with two points of view. Until the children can define the problem, they will not look for a shared solution.


• Brainstorming possible solutions - Generating a range of possible solutions to the problems and choosing one to try - one that takes into account both children's point of view, is agreeable to both, and restores a sense of safety.


• Using negotiating skills - The dialogue between children requires them to take into consideration each other's point of view and figure out the logical causal connections between the problem and the solution. Children need opportunities to practice the "give and take" that negotiation requires.


• Choosing solutions that satisfy both sides - The teacher helps children to think through how their solutions would work, but does not impose his/her own ideas about which is better. She/he makes sure that both children agree that the solution they choose meets the criteria for "win-win" solutions - that both children want to try it and feel safe with it.

Finally, the children need a plan for putting it into action. They require help in figuring out what each needs to do to transform the situation from a problem or conflict into their agreed upon solution. Then, children need a chance for evaluation on how their plan worked - time to reflect and share with others the solutions they agreed to try and if they would change it in any way.